Granny's Gift
A short story by Reisa Gula, a successful artist, calligrapher and mother of two who volunteers at Epilepsy Ontario.
Autumn was in the air. Soon it would be time for hot chocolate and warm woolen mittens. But not yet. Not until Hallowe'en - Jenny's favourite night of the year - had come and gone. As she walked toward the front door, Jenny looked at the little flowers under the window. She had helped her mom plant them last spring. Now they seemed to be waiting for ghosts and goblins before putting their heads down for the winter.
Jenny closed the front door and put her school books on the table. As she hung her sweater in the closet, she noticed the most wonderful tie she had ever seen. It was purple with big, gold-coloured circles on it, and it was very wide. She took it down from the shelf and went into the kitchen.
"Hi, Jen. How was school?" asked her Dad, who was home early from work. "Okay," answered Jenny as she held out the tie. "Dad, do you wear this?" "No, I didn't know I still had it," he said with a smile. "That thing must be fifteen years old. I wonder why I've never thrown it out." "Can I have it?" asked Jenny. "Sure, but why do you want it?" he asked. "I might make it part of my Hallowe'en costume," replied Jenny as she took an apple from the frig.
She went upstairs and put the tie on her bed. Just then, Jeremy, her thirteen year old brother, stopped in her doorway. He wrinkled his nose. "What are you doing with that?" he asked, pointing to the tie. "I'm going to dress up as a clown." "Jenny, you like the strangest things," said Jeremy.
"Oh well," thought Jenny. She opened her desk drawer and took out the gift that her grandmother had given her last month. It was a paint set with one hundred colours in it. She held up one of her paintings. "Wonder if I should show this to Karen," she thought.
Karen, her best friend, lived around the corner. They had been in the same class since Grade One, when the Kelly's had moved into the neighbourhood. This year, they were in Grade Five.
The following day, on the way to school, Jenny took her painting out of her school sack and held it out for Karen to see. "Oh, Jen, that's beautiful!" said Karen. "Did you do it?" Jenny nodded. "Do you really like it?" she asked. "Jeremy didn't think it was very good." "Well I like it," said Karen. "When did you do it?" "About a month ago," replied Jenny. "Granny gave me a new paint set with one hundred colours in it." "Your Granny sounds nice," said Karen. "She is," said Jenny. She thought about her grandmother. Granny always did nice things when something scary or out of the ordinary happened. And something out of the ordinary had happened just last month.
For the last year or so, Jenny had felt light-headed from time to time. Her mom had noticed that sometimes she would stare into space for a few seconds. Even though Jenny hardly noticed the staring times and just went back to what she was doing afterward, her mother had called to tell Dr. Dawson, their family doctor. Dr. Dawson suggested that they see a neurologist. "What's a neurologist, Mom?" asked Jenny. "Neurologists are special doctors who treat problems of the nervous system. Dr. Dawson recommended someone named Dr. Goldstein," said her mother. "But Mom! Do we really have to go?" asked Jenny. "Yes, Jenny," said her mother. "Dr. Dawson has already made the appointment."
Two weeks later, they met Dr. Goldstein. He had a soft, low voice and a kind smile. First, he asked her mother some questions about Jenny's medical history and then he turned to Jenny. "Tell me about the staring times, Jenny," he said. "What do they feel like and how often do they happen?" Jenny thought for a moment and said, "Well, they don't hurt and sometimes I don't even know when they happen." "Okay, Jenny. Hop on the examining table," said Dr. Goldstein. He pointed to the cabinet on the wall in front of her. "Look at that handle on the cabinet over there," he said. As she looked at the handle, he examined her eyes with a little flashlight. Next, he tapped on her elbows and knees with a round rubber hammer. Jenny was surprised to feel her feet swing out as he tapped on her knee joints. "Okay Jenny. Let's see you walk in a straight line to that wall and then backwards to here," said Dr. Goldstein. Then he told her to do the same thing while keeping her eyes closed. "Very good," he said. "I think we should get some tests done and we'll meet again in a few weeks to discuss the results."
As they left the office, Jenny could tell that her mom was upset. She wished she could do something to make her feel better. "This is awful," she thought to herself as they drove home. Then she said, "Dr. Goldstein's really nice, isn't he Mom?" "Yes," answered her mother in a flat voice. Jenny remembered hearing her mother use that tone of voice only a few times before. She knew it meant she was really worried. Jenny had butterflies in her stomach. She was thankful when they got home so she could be by herself. But when she opened the drawer where she kept her paints, she found that she didn't feel like painting. She only felt like crying.
Two weeks later, Jenny had the first test - called an EEG - done at the lab. She had never been to a lab before. Most of the people in the lab wore white coats like in a hospital, but her mom said this wasn't a hospital. After Jenny and her mom registered at the front desk, a lady with red hair introduced herself. "Hi," she said, "My name's Maria. I'm an EEG technician. Please follow me, Jenny." "Mom, are you coming?" asked Jenny. Jenny's mom looked at Maria. "No, it's not necessary, Mrs. Green. Jenny will be just fine," said Maria, smiling. Jenny could feel a knot in her stomach and her feet didn't want to move. But somehow, she followed Maria to a room down the hall where Maria showed Jenny the EEG machine. "This test will record the electrical impulses in your brain on the graph paper that comes out of the machine there," said Maria. "The pattern on the graph paper will help your doctor understand what's happening in that brain of yours," she added with a smile.
"Make yourself comfortable here on the bed," said Maria, "and lie very still while I attach these wires to your head." She attached the wires to Jenny's head with sticky paste and then she tuned on the EEG machine. "Please lie very still now," said Maria again. Jenny could hear the sound of the paper coming out of the machine. "Now close your eyes," said Maria. Soon, lights started to flash slowly before Jenny's eyes and they gradually got faster and faster. "I hope they stop soon," thought Jenny to herself as the lights began to slow down. When they stopped, Maria said, "Okay Jenny. You can open your eyes now. Now Jenny, I want you to breathe very deeply as quickly as you can and don't stop till I tell you to." Jenny followed Maria's instructions. "This is hard to do," thought Jenny, but she kept taking the deep breaths like Maria had told her to do. Just as she thought she was running out of breath, Maria said, "Okay Jenny. You can breathe normally now. We're almost done." When the machine stopped, Maria began to take the wires out of Jenny's hair. "Well Jenny, you're all done. How do you feel?" she asked. "I'm okay, but I can hardly wait to get home and wash this stuff out of my hair!" said Jenny.
A week later, Jenny and her mother went to the hospital to have the next test done. It was called a CT Scan. At the CT lab, a nurse named Kathy explained that this test would show Dr. Goldstein a three-dimensional X-ray picture of Jenny's brain. "Will it hurt?" asked Jenny. "No," answered Kathy, "but you'll have to be very still or the machine can't take the pictures. Climb up and get comfortable on the table here, Jenny," instructed Kathy. "When I push the button here, the table is going to go into the machine. Now remember: you must lie very still." "How long will it take" asked Jenny. "Oh, about five minutes," answered Kathy. The table went slowly into the huge machine and Jenny could hear clicking noises. "It's hard to stay still for so long. I hope this is finished soon," thought Jenny to herself. In a few minutes, she felt the table start to move out of the machine. "Okay. You can get down now, Jenny," said Kathy. Jenny looked at her watch. Kathy was right: it had taken only five minutes.
When they returned home after the test, Granny was sitting at the kitchen table. "Hi, Granny!" said Jenny. "Hello, dear," answered her grandmother. "I have something for you." "What?" asked Jenny. "A little present," answered her grandmother. "It's not my birthday," said Jenny. "Well Jenny, I thought you might need some cheering up after the tests and all," said Granny. She reached across the table and handed Jenny the most wonderful paint box Jenny had ever seen. "It has one hundred colours in it," said Granny. "Thanks, Granny," said Jenny as she gave her grandmother a big hug.
The following week, Jenny and her mom went back to Dr. Goldstein's office for the test results. Dr. Goldstein looked at Jenny and then at her mom. "Mrs. Green, it's exactly what I thought. Jenny has a disorder called epilepsy." "Epilepsy?" asked Jenny. "Yes Jenny. You'll have to take some pills every day from now on. Here's a prescription." As he handed her mom the prescription, he added, "When Jenny stares, she is actually having what is known as an 'absence seizure'. Hopefully, these pills will help so that she doesn't have them any more, or at least not as often." "I wonder if I should ask any questions," thought Jenny. She looked carefully at her mother. "No, I guess I'd better not," she decided. "She looks pretty upset."
After they left the office, they stopped at the drugstore. The pharmacist handed her mother two containers of pills. One was filled with long, white, shiny capsules with red band around them and the other with tiny, white pills. As they got into the car, her mom said, "Jennifer, I don't think you should tell anyone about the epilepsy." Jenny felt sick inside. She wondered why epilepsy should be a secret, especially since she had always been told to be honest. But, for the second time that day, she didn't ask. And that was very different for Jenny because she loved asking questions. But she could tell from her mom's voice that this wasn't the right time.
The next day was a rainy Saturday and Jenny decided to start work on her costume. Hallowe'en was only three weeks away. Last year's outfit was too small, so she would have to make a new one. When school had started this year, she had decided to try to win the prize for the best costume. Ever since the new principal, Mr. Paradine, had come to their school last year, everyone was asked to wear their costume to school the day before Hallowe'en. During recess, there was a parade around the schoolyard and the two best costumes won a prize. Jenny like the new changes in their school and she especially liked Mr. Paradine.
On Monday morning, Jenny's mother said, "We'll need to tell Mr. Paradine about the epilepsy." "But Mom," said Jenny. "Isn't epilepsy supposed to be a secret?" "This is necessary," said her mother. "The school has to know about it, but don't tell anyone else."
Jenny, her mother and Mr. Paladine met in his office the next day after lunch. When the meeting was over, Jenny walked slowly down the hall to her classroom. She felt very alone. "This epilepsy secret is terrible," thought Jenny to herself.
That day, on the way home from school, Jenny asked, "Karen, what are you wearing for Hallowe'en?" "My sister's rabbit costume," answered Karen. "Want to see it?" "Sure," replied Jenny. Jenny and Karen went into Karen's bedroom and, as Karen was taking her costume out of the closet, Jenny heard herself saying, "Karen, I have this thing called epilepsy." And then, she caught her breath and started to cry. Karen's mother, who was home from work early that day, was in the hallway. She heard Jenny crying and looked into the room. "What's wrong?" she asked. But Jenny couldn't answer.
Jenny had fallen to the ground and her whole body was shaking. "Oh, heavens! What should we do?" said Mrs. Kelly. "I know," said Karen. "We should put a pillow under Jenny's head and stay close by." "How do you know?" asked her mother. "I read about epilepsy in the doctor's office while we were waiting for my check-up last time. Jenny's having a seizure and the pamphlet said not to worry and to stay close by." "But shouldn't we call someone?" asked her mother as she hurried to Karen's bed. "I don't think so," said Karen. "It said she'll be all right." Just then, Jenny's eyes fluttered open. "What happened?" she asked. Karen replied, "You had a seizure, Jen." Jenny started to cry again. She knew she had never had this kind of seizure before.
"I'm going to call your mother," said Mrs. Kelly. "No! Don't!" said Jenny. "Why not?" asked Mrs. Kelly. "Because she told me not to tell anyone that I have epilepsy and she'll be mad at me," said Jenny. "Well Jenny, let's not tell her that you told me," said Karen. "But we have to tell her about what happened," said Mrs. Kelly. Jenny thought for a moment. "Okay," she said quietly. Karen's mother went to the phone. "Your mother will be over to pick you up in a few minutes," she said as she hung up. While they waited for her mother to come over, Jenny wondered which was worse: having epilepsy or having to keep the secret.
Soon, there was a knock on the door. Mrs. Kelly went to open it. Jenny could see that her mother looked worried. As she took Jenny's coat from the hall stand, she said, "Heavens, this is awful." Then she turned to Jenny. "Come on, Jenny. Can you get to the car?" "Sure, Mom," answered Jenny.
When they got home, Jenny's mother called Dr. Goldstein. "What should I do?" asked her mother. "Just stay calm and give Jenny one more of her little red and white pills. Jenny's had a tonic-clonic or grand mal seizure. There is nothing to worry about. She's going to be fine." Said Dr. Goldstein. "Shouldn't I do anything else?" she asked. "No," replied Dr. Goldstein. "Just have her take an extra pill each day from now on. My nurse will make an appointment for you to come in next week so we can discuss this." "Fine," said Jenny's mother and she put down the receiver.
As her mother went to the cupboard to get one of the red and white pills, Jenny said, "Mom, I have something to tell you." "What is it, Jenny?" asked her mother. Jenny took a deep breath. "Well Mom, I told Karen after school today that I have epilepsy." answered Jenny. Her mother looked angry. "Jennifer, why would you do such a thing?" she asked. "It came out before I knew it," replied Jenny. "And besides, I knew she'd understand." "Well, don't do it again and tell Karen not to say anything to anyone," was her mother's reply. "Okay," answered Jenny sadly.
The next day, Jenny passed Mr. Paradine in the hall. She turned around, took another deep breath and said, "Can I talk to you, Mr. Paradine?" "Sure, Jenny," he answered. They went into his office. "I'm not supposed to tell you this, Mr. Paradine," she began. And then, she told him about her problem with the epilepsy secret. Mr. Paradine nodded. "I think I understand, Jenny. And I also think you should go and speak to Catherine," he said. Then he added, "Come on, let's go down to her office together."
Catherine was the school nurse. Jenny had always liked her. "Hello, Jenny," said Catherine with a smile. "What brings you here?" "Well," began Jenny. And then she told Catherine about the secret. After what seemed like a very long silence, Catherine said, "Jenny, how about if we ask Mr. Luther to speak to your family?" Mr. Luther was the school counsellor. "I don't know, Catherine. I'm scared," said Jenny through her tears. "Jenny, please let me call your mother," said Catherine. "All right," answered Jenny in a small voice.
On the way home from school, Jenny said, "Karen, Catherine's calling my mom and I'm really worried." "You can eat at our house," said Karen. Jenny thought for a moment and said, "Thanks Karen, but I'd better go home." "Okay Jen, but call me if you change your mind," said Karen.
When Jenny got home, she found her mother sitting at the kitchen table. She looked up, wiped her eyes and said, "Jennifer, the school nurse just called and this thing has gotten larger than life. What have you done?" "I'm sorry Mom," said Jenny. "Go to your room and let me think about this," said her mother.
Jenny went to her room and opened her paint box. "Thank goodness Jeremy's not home yet," she thought. She filled a little cup with water and got some paper from her drawer. She sat down at her desk and, before long, she heard her mother and father talking in the kitchen.
A few minutes later, they walked up the stairs and into her room. "Dad and I have been talking things over," said her mother. "And we've realized that you were right. We've always taught you to be honest." "That's right," said her dad. "As it turned out, it was a good thing you told Karen about the epilepsy. That way, she knew what to do." Jenny looked up and saw that her mother had tears in her eyes.
The next Wednesday, they went to speak with Catherine and Mr. Luther, who arranged for Jenny's family to start counselling. And on Friday, Jenny won second prize in the Hallowe'en costume contest.
On their way home from school, Jenny turned to Karen, who was still in her rabbit costume. "Karen, I have something for you," she said. "What?" asked Karen. "This!" said Jenny, as she handed Karen the prize she had won. It was a paint box with one hundred colours in it.
Not to be reproduced without prior permission from the author.
Contact Reisa Gula through Epilepsy Ontario.
